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Wannabe Celebrities!!

Okay, so in� this day and age there are three tiers of famous people: You have the celebrity who does the silver screen and the occasional made-for-TV movie, the reality TV stars who get to be on television just for “being themselves”, and of course who can forget the sublebrity; a sublebrity status is like a strange island where all of the reality show stars go to die and you never hear from them again unless they make a “special” appearance on a Heidi Klum concoction.�

Also nowadays, the so called “stars” of reality TV are making out like bandits and getting paid appropriately per episode� for whichever show they’re on.� The shows are a dime a dozen, carbon copies of each other, just changing a few minor details here and there and alas, you’ve taught an old dog a new trick!� You know what I’m talking about…MTV started off with “Laguna Beach,” went on to the “The Hills,” and now they’ve launched “Newport Harbor.”� Are you kidding me…it’s like an even worse version of “Six degrees of Kevin Bacon!”

According to E! Online, the faux-stars that we gossip about every week make an estimated $10,000 to $25,000 per episode.� E! continues on to say that that’s the general industry range for top reality stars such as Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag, wannabe K-Fed or Spencer Pratt.

“Most reality shows, like Big Brother, will guarantee participants at least 50 grand per season,” says Sean Mitchell, whose company has done casting for several seasons of that show.

“Of course, that doesn’t include all the free tank tops and lip gloss these kids can haul into their free apartments with their spindly little arms. I would be shocked if Heidi has paid for anything she’s worn, lived in or placed in her hair over the past six months. That’s what ambitious publicists are for, see,” adds “The Answer Bitch.”

-Joseph F, up and coming reality star