Our inimitable blogger Annie takes a look back over last week’s highlights…

I can’t sign this, there’s not enough ‘000000’!

Ah, in’it great when two people who are battling it out in the courts and in the public arena can still report to the media that their ‘soon to be ex-spouse’ can make them laugh.

Well, that’s what you call an amicable divorce… isn’t it???

A source told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper that The Beatles’ legend Sir Paul McCartney offered Heather Mills a 5 million pound settlement and she and her legal team were obviously so ecstatically happy with it they ‘laughed’.

And who wouldn’t?

But she apparently wasn’t laughing and running all the way to the bank with the cheque, she was laughing ‘cos it just wasn’t enough to keep the one time porn actress in the style to which she has so quickly become accustomed in the past four years.

Added to the financial settlement, Paul is seeking a clause in the final divorce which would prevent Mills from speaking about their marriage and causing Sir Paul further public humiliation.

How about wiring her jaw shut?

Who Let the Dogs Out?

OK! magazine has reported that Kate Moss and her kennel mates were out on the town at a fashion show staged at Annabel’s nightclub in London earlier this week. Moss bopped the night away after launching her new fashion line in the most upmarket of British fashion outlets, Top Shop. With prices starting at £35 the quality and style become all too apparent.

Moss didn’t strut her way along the catwalk herself but was happy showing off her handiwork to her celebrity guests as the models paraded up and down in Moss’s latest collection, which is supposedly more grown-up than her previous creations. Now she’s going for the full-length gowns, tuxedo jackets and Twenties-style beaded cocktail dresses which will cover up a multitude of sins over the Christmas partying period.

The reporter on the scene had obviously had one too many of the freebee ‘sherbets’ when he commented on Moss’s evening out saying “Wearing a black satin catsuit, the 33-year-old reminded onlookers of a young Olivia Newton John as she stomped her feet to live music from disco legend Grace Jones.”

Put a monkey in a suit, it’s still a monkey; putting Moss into a black cat suit doesn’t make her remotely similar to the beautiful, feminine and elegant Miss Newton-John! Sober up pal!

Accompanying Moss on the dance floor were Naomi Campbell, Elle MacPherson, Sophie Dahl, Kelly Osbourne, Lily Allen and someone who should have known better, Simon Cowell.

Along with her rumoured £3million fee for the fashion line and a few buckets of booze Kate was really in the mood for dancing, along with Top Shop boss Sir Philip Green and his 16-year-old daughter Chloe.

Now you see it, ($2 million) Now You Don’t, Now You See it……

This couldn’t possibly be the face of a sleazy rapist!

Eyewitness News reported that on Thursday of this week, 12 FBI agents entered the warehouse/garage of David Copperfield, magician and illusionist, in Las Vegas. When the garage doors opened Copperfield pulled out a further 24 agents!

Following in the footsteps of U.S. Congressman, William Jefferson, who ‘stored’ $90,000 in the freezer at his home in Northeast Washington, David Copperfield is also believed to have ‘stored’ $90,000 in his garage, but in true illusionist form, he managed to pull out $2 million when FBI agents opened the freezer door.

According to FOX News, along with the find of $2 million, there are also alleged rape claims against Copperfield, by a Seattle woman.

However, Copperfield’s attorney has commented, “If in fact those are the allegations, unfortunately false allegations are all too often made against famous individuals.”

Absolutely, like Robert Blake allegedly murdering his wife; OJ Simpson allegedly murdering his ex-wife, Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman; Phil Spector Allegedly killing Lana Clarkson; and Michael Jackson’s alleged sexual molestation of young boys! Does his attorney mean ‘those sort of allegations?’

Yeah! Well lets see you make this go away, David.

ABB